The Test

The girl and I had a very bonding and heart breaking experience this past weekend. As a parent we know our kids are going to get their feelings hurt. We can never prepare ourselves for these moments, the look in our child's eyes and how it cuts us to the core.

The girl, the boy and I went to a birthday party this past weekend. We went to an indoor water park type of place. The problem came when the girl wanted to ride the water slide. Height wise she came to the bottom of the "acceptable" line. We both figured, top or bottom, either worked. Knowing that I couldn't go with her since I had to keep my eye on the little guy she went up the stairs all by herself to go on the slide, this was a big accomplishment in itself. The next thing I know she was back down the steps in tears. They had sent her back saying she was too short and had to pass the swim test. I walked her back up to try and figure things out but they told me the same thing. The girl was very hurt but she stuck her chin up and wanted me to find out how and where to take the test, she knew she could pass it. My heart felt like it had vice grips on it and someone was tightening them.

I did find out what to do and we were off. She had to swim the length of the pool w/0 stopping and tread water for 30 seconds. I'll tell you now, she's never done either of those things. Well, she hopped right in and began swimming. She got half way and her eyes began to tear up, the look of determination was killing me. I yelled, "you can do it, get mad!" she kept on swimming. She got 3 feet from the wall and couldn't go any further, she had to stop. She stopped, took a breath then finished. The lifeguards told me she hadn't passed. I had to break the news to her. Her poor little body was already shaking from being tired, now a fresh shaking began as the tears flowed down her cheeks. A burning sensation began in my stomach and tore my heart apart. Hadn't they seen how hard she had just worked? Knowing full well that it was a safety thing but not caring I gathered my crying little girl up and hissed "I hate this place" as I walked away with her. I wanted to yell so much more but that wouldn't have helped.

We went back to the side where the party was and she just sat in my lap saying she was a loser and too short to do fun things. I held her and told her how proud I was that she had tried and not given up. My heart hurt so much I thought I was going to be sick.

After a while the girl decided to go and play with everyone else which made me happy for her. As she walked off she did tell me that she was never going to come back here again. One more stab in the heart for Mommy.

Today, 2 days later, I watched my little girl at our own pool. She was practicing swimming the length of the pool.